The Whisperer!

One morning while getting ready, an old 80’s song came on the radio.  ‘Shout’ by Tears for Fears.  It was like I was hearing the words (those of the chorus) for the very first time and yet I knew them to sing along with:

Let it all out.
These are the things I can do without.
Come on.
I’m talking to you.
Come on.

And my mind went to all the negative things I think, believe, and say about myself, to myself. And I thought: “Yes! Absolutely! I can definitely do without all of that. And more over, rather than those thoughts, beliefs, and words talking to me, I should be (for my own sake) talking to them!”

I then got to wondering what the meaning behind the song was all about. Was this actually what they, the band were also referring to, or was this just my slant? So I googled . . .

‘Tears for Fears’ were followers of Arthur Janov (an American psychologist, psychotherapist, and writer) who created the school of Primal Therapy. A treatment for mental illness (that was influential for a brief period in the 1970’s) based on Janov’s belief that neurosis is caused by the repressed pain of childhood trauma. In therapy, the patient recalls and re-enacts a particularly disturbing past experience (usually having occurred early in life) and expresses any repressed anger or frustration through spontaneous and unrestrained screams, hysteria, or violence. The theory is that in fully expressing their pain they can then resolve it. And so this was the inspiration for the song, a therapy that worked by getting people to confront their fears by shouting and screaming. This is also where the name ‘Tears for Fears’ came from: Janov’s book ‘Prisoners of Pain.’

The first verse:

In violent times
You shouldn’t have to sell your soul
In black and white
They really really ought to know
Those one track minds
That took you for a working boy
Kiss them goodbye
You shouldn’t have to jump for joy
You shouldn’t have to shout for joy

The effects of a negative self-belief system can certainly be violent times, be it limited to our head space, or in the outworking of behaviours we employ as a result of that headspace. It’s as if we have already sold our soul in thinking that negative line of thought, because once it’s established it’s hard to break free from, and the outworking of that is devastating to varying degrees. Those one track minds reminds me of the theory (as written about by Dr Caroline Leaf and others) that our thinking creates neural pathways, and over time, as with any track repeatedly taken, it becomes the known track and thus the resulting journey and destination. And so while we shouldnt have to jump (or shout) for joy . . . maybe that’s exactly what we need to do, in order to reroute the track from that which we created through our pain (childhood or otherwise), in order to cause and effect the change to something better for our gain.

The second verse:

They gave you life
And in return you gave them hell
As cold as ice
I hope we live to tell the tale
I hope we live to tell the tale

We give life to that which we believe, and if that’s from a negative self belief system, then those beliefs will surely give us hell in our headspace. But as cold as ice (and we know it is), we have to each determine to overcome that mindset, and not just hope to live to tell the tale (because that could be interpreted with a negative slant, that maybe we wont), but in making the choice to ‘know’ (that) we will live to tell the tale we exchange ‘hope’ for something greater, that of definite-ness in ‘knowing’ that we have the power to choose: to live to tell the tale.

And so I’ve flipped this verse to: 1) personalise it, and 2) redefine my own choice:

I gave you life
And in return you gave me hell
As cold as ice
I know I live to tell your tale
I know I live to tell MY tale

The third and last verse:

And when you’ve taken down your guard
If I could change your mind
I’d really love to break your heart
I’d really love to break your heart

This verse speaks to me of an enemy out there with an assignment for my mind. I believe (and know from my own experience), what starts in my mind has the ability to impact and affect my whole being in who I am and what I do. And so I translate this verse as:
I would only take down my guard if I thought it was safe to do so. And in thinking it is safe to do so, I obviously feel I’ve made enough progress forward from my old way of thinking. But when there’s an enemy with an assignment, that’s exactly what he’s lying in wait for me to do: take down my guard. If he could change my mind (and ‘could’ implies I have a choice in that) back to my old way of thinking, then his assignment is back on track. He’d love for me to get stuck back in those violent times again, where my heart and soul feels stuck in the grip of his hands, because as is his assignment: he’d really love to break my heart.

But as I mentioned . . . I have a choice in this: not to let my guard down, that he would then have opportunity to make his attempt. And given the opportunity, he will! Because he is an opportunistic beast with an assignment!

So in light of this, Im standing up for myself, to be a self advocate for my mind (and how it is set) in applying the principles of Primal Therapy:

Im going PRIMAL!

I have NO MERCY for the beast who has shown
he has NO MERCY in his assignment
on my mind and my whole being.
My shout is a SHOUT!

2 thoughts on “The Whisperer!

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